The last few days have been pretty interesting. We made great time across the flat lands, knocking off 1200 miles in 12 days. We've crossed through Colorado, Nebraska, Kansas, Missouri, Illinois, Indiana, Kentucky, and now we're in West Virginia.
We've also met some really nice folks. The mayor of Waverly, KS and his wife allowed us to camp in the city park when they heard we were stuck in the rain. A nice, elderly couple in Madison bought us a round of ice creams at the county fair. There was the single mom taking her kids camping for the first time.
Then there were the goons. We met two families who made me think everyone on the Jerry Springer Show is real. The first family sped passed us on a backroad in Illinois. All three passengers hurled obscenities at us as they told us to get off the road. Fortunately, we were haulin' butt and they stopped for gas a couple miles up. I cruised by the car to size up the group and I did a double take when I saw the driver was a 50 year old mom. We had some choice words with the son inside the station conveinece store. As he came out, the mom drove over to get him. She got out of the car and the son told her to "get the F&*% back in the car." As she started to drive away the mom says to us "y'all look sexy in your tight shorts .... you f*gg0ts!!!" What a role model...
Andy hollers back that we, at least, have an 8th grade education. To which the son leans out of the window and yells "it's called a diploma, b#&ch. I GOT ONE!!!!" Then they sped off towards the east.
Later that same day, I was almost taken out by the new scourge of the road...the soccer mom in a minivan. I guess little Johnny was late for practice so this woman passes me in a one lane construction zone with about 6 inches between her side window and my shoulder. It scared the crap out of me.
The next night we met some of the awesomest rednecks ever. We camped in the state park in Madison, IN on a friday night. We picked out a nice quiet site with some shade, set up the tent and went to the pool. Upon our return, there were three giant pickup trucks, a trailer, 10 folding chairs, 5 ice chests, a generator and about 7 people and a baby. The only thing they didn't bring was the roof and the kitchen sink. The mom of the little kid proceeded to get piss drunk and try to start fights with the other family members.
We left to go to the fair and demolition derby and returned about 1030 pm. At that point, they had a bunch of lights on, loud music playing and the mom was hammered out of her mind. And then there were the kids - maybe 6 of them. They were chopping wood with a hammer and chisel at 1130pm. Everyone was talking with outside voices. And to top it off, they set up one of their six tents up 3 ft from our tent. We ended up moving to a vacant site so we could get a little sleep.
In the morning, we got up at 5am and started packing. I looked over and asked Andy if the blob next to their fire was a pile of wood or a person. It turned out to be the mom, still drunk, passed out in the fetal position next to the fire in her confederate flag bathing suit top and jean shorts. Somehow she wakes up and starts shouting at the top of her lungs that "it's F%&king morning, the birds are chirping! It's time to get up!" Then she yelled about how the nice single mom I mentioned above asked her to be quiet and how that was BS because they paid to use the campsite too. The woman, her husband, and their couple kids packed up all of their crap and left when we did so they could go somewhere they could make more noise.
It was pretty awesome though that we stumbled onto a fair. That night we saw a demolition derby. The next night we found a tractor pull by accident too. Both were absolutely amazing.
Oh, I almost forgot about the Skor bars. So we eat a lot of candy bars on the go. One of the favorites is the Skor Bar by Hershey. Maybe you're familiar...toffee covered in chocolate. One morning we were having a discussion about how to make the greatest candy bar ever and the ultimate Skor bar came up. It would consist of two regular Skor bars with the bottom chocolate removed and then stuck together. Our major complaint was the lack of enough toffee.
Much to our surprise, we rode by the Hershey's factory where they make the Skor Bar. Unfortunately they did not give tours. But they do sell bulk candy. We saw it as a blessing from God so we bought a 20 pound box of unwrapped Skor Bars for $25 and set about creating the greatest candy bar ever made. Andy only made it 40 miles with the whole box on the back before we had to split it up into Ziplocks. The next night we lost a couple of bags to some hungry racoons. But we still have a couple pounds left.
This is a video of the tractor pull. Turn up your speakers and you can hear the track announcer call it. Also notice the diesel exhaust plume. It was badass!
This is from the demolition derby.
Here's a shot my bike with the new, sexy wheelset.
No comments:
Post a Comment